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20170531 - The Feelings Machine

from The Song Diary II by Paleo

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lyrics

I watch myself live from an iota away,
jarred in my skull as every word takes shape,
but it’s like a computer decides the things that I say,
like some city in Europe where the all roads are one way.
I remember that one fight we had when you got so mad
you punched through the window behind the sink with your hand.
The water was still running, and you crumpled to the floor
and hid your head as you were screaming at the cabinet door.

The feelings machine.
The feelings machine.
That which takes pain, not gasoline.
The feelings machine.

It was insane. It was honest-to-god insane.
But then again what is insanity but animals in pain?
Its like that, like magic, how the glass falls.
It seems random, but it’s not magic at all.
In our bones as we picked up the shards
we knew however they fell, very near or very far.
There is nothing we could have done differently.
The sun simply burns, never harder or more gently.

The feelings machine.
The feelings machine.
Joy and esteem and jealous hopes and dreams.
The feelings machine.

And the world turns, and we love and then it ends.
Did you have to get used to sleeping alone again?
I did. And if I’m being honest it still feels strange.
I know it’s good for me, but I don’t like change,
the weird teeth of the corpse-eater called time.
The water is still running in the sink of my mind,
and I walk on that glass every single day,
because why pick up what you can’t put away?

The feelings machine.
The feelings machine.
That which takes pain, not gasoline.
The feelings machine.

credits

from The Song Diary II, released April 15, 2018

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Paleo Portland, Oregon

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